What can you learn from your 'Go-To' position in 2020?

 Hi

This is my last note for the year 2020. My word! It has been an interesting journey so far this year, has it not? I certainly did not expect the year to pan out the way it did as mentioned in a much earlier blog. However, through the many 'ups and downs', 'twists and turns' that I experienced, there have been a lot of great learning experiences. Over the months, I was able to observe various behaviours displayed by folks as they responded to challenges that were presented, be it as a result of the pandemic or otherwise. I share one 'go-to' position that got my, and that of most of the globe's, attention this year.

Most of us are aware of the Black Lives Matter demonstrations which took place, not only in the USA but in many other parts of the globe.  The demonstrations were a response by Black Lives Matter's activists and followers to the horrendous murders of black men and women, particularly in the USA. It was obvious that there was outrage as a result of a perceived injustice, so much so that people who would not normally be publicly vocal, joined the thousands to demand justice for the black lives lost prematurely. 

The demonstrators reminded me of leaders like Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and to some extent Mother Teresa, who engaged in self-sacrificial behaviours during difficult times. What makes these persons admirable leaders is the reason behind their sacrifices are obvious in a very uncomfortable, uncertain environment.

As human beings, our behaviours are conditioned by our thoughts, motives, identities and our interactions with others. The way we choose to behave or react to a particular situation, helps us to understand ourselves better, on reflection.

This year helped me to become more self-aware than ever. Knowing what thoughts and actions felt appropriate and which ones to remove myself from have made me more empowered to deal with crises. Listening to the various feedback on the demonstrations helped me to evaluate my 'go-to' position. In general, knowing which battles to fight and which ones to walk away from is an empowering feat. 

As you close out 2020, and reflect on some of the behavioural choices you made, what was your natural 'go to' position? What new thing have you learnt about yourself when experiencing a crisis situations? Do you need to change any aspect of yourself as you move into 2021?

I hope that the New Year will be one of growth for you. May you be positively transformed because of what you overcame in 2020, and be inspired to help another to rise.

Until

Jo-Ann

Benefits of exercise

 Hi

How the time has run away and how have I spent the last month running after it :)

One of the pleasant victories of the pandemic season for me is being able to maintain a strict exercise routine... even when other temptingly attractive options popped into my head. I have missed the routine of my local gym in England and the wonderful friends I connected with on those visits. I say friends, because they were super encouragers when the pace got red hot and my Costa 'choccie' created voice bubbles over my head. 

Yet, I am very happy to say that the exercise regime over the past months of lockdown has encouraged me to keep pressing forward even though the journey was done solo, without those valued friends. But how I miss my gym and Zumba buddies!

How about you? Have you, like me, been enjoying the benefits of the YouTube exercise videos? Do you have a favourite someone you like to train with?

On a serious note, there are two important points that I want to share in this blog.

Firstly, very many persons have suffered from depression or some form of mental challenge as a consequence of the pandemic. For example, in the UK, according to the ONS, adults aged 16 to 39 years old were more likely than other adults to be experiencing some form of depression during the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic. Around one in three (31.0%) 16- to 39-year-olds experienced moderate to severe depressive symptoms during this time. This compared with one in nine (10.9%) before the pandemic. 

When persons suffering from depression approach the primary care setting,  they are generally treated with pharmacologic therapy alone, which often takes weeks to kick in. Research has shown that when exercise is used as an intervention in cognitive-behavioural therapy, treatment outcomes are greatly improved, symptoms of depression are alleviated. Exercise works.

Secondly, let us remember to show gratitude to our friends and families. Let us recognize their value. Let them know how much you value them. Don't leave it until it is too late.

Until next time,

Jo-Ann

Managing change - Part 2

                                                    Challenges from the 'new' normal 

Hi again,

I hope September and October were filled with some good experiences for you. So many milestones were reached since I last wrote, nine family members' birthdays, and mine! For life, I am thankful! 

In this blog, I want to continue to talk about change and the impact it can have on our lives. As I write, some countries in Europe, including the UK, are experiencing a second wave of the Covid-19, with the virus, according to the World Health Organization, evolving in new and different ways. However, some countries are beginning to open their borders for international travel. 

One of the greatest conundrums is if we will ever return to life as we knew it, that is, pre-Covid-19. Just today I spoke with someone whose frustrations were evident from the statements: "Beginning to feel the restrictions of this lockdown season we are in...I dream of different climates...New scenery and much more fun than we are having...There's so much we just can't do it's becoming annoying."               I empathize sincerely. 

Many visions have been put on hold, or even died, while persons wait for things to return to 'normal'. But what will that return to normalcy look like?   Will it ever be 'normal' again, as we knew it? What I believe is that we should live each moment that we are given in a way that shows we value life as it is now. The past is gone, history. After coming through 2020, we certainly cannot be 100% assured of the future, but we can be hopeful. However, we must live today the best way we can: loving God, loving others and loving ourselves. We can continue to dream of a better, brighter future and have hopes for our visions to be attained one day. But live today, being the best you. In the words of Shelby Condo, 'If we can learn anything from this pandemic, I hope it is to value the moments, treasure the memories, and hold on to what counts... Life is a gift.' 

Today, take the time to love and enjoy family and friends, even if they are socially distant, and reflect on how far you have come. Build a legacy of love and watch the transformation happen around you. 

Shalom.

Until

Jo-Ann Rowland

Managing change (Part 1)

Hi

There is at least one solid constant and that is, nothing is permanent except change.Change will always be with us. 2020 has so far been a year of great change, change which has manifested as upheaval, anger, displacement, loss of many lives, and yet, opportunities to be a better person, generally. 

For me, as mentioned in an earlier blog, the change I am experiencing, as a result of the pandemic, is mostly about displacement. As I write, I was expecting to be celebrating major milestones in the lives of key family members in the UK this month. However, I am barred from being home because three airports that are critical to my return home, are closed. 

During the COVID-19 pandemic, many hopes and dreams, like mine, have been affected. Separation from friends and loved ones can bring feelings of loneliness, especially when linked to disappointment and loss. When hope fades, people can lose heart and doubts begin to grow. What we do very often, is to spend too much valuable time wallowing in the 'If onlys' and neglecting the opportunities that will make us grow in the face of difficulties.

So what do you do when things do not work out as planned? What do you do when your hopes are dashed? When things are not as you feel they should be, it is time to change your thinking. It is important to acknowledge the current situation. Identify what exists that you want to change. Importantly, identify what you want to change it to and any roadblocks along the way. List what you will have to do to get to your desired state and what may bar you for each item listed. How will you overcome the barriers? What you write must be a list of realistic, that is, attainable objectives. The time you give yourself to obtain these objectives is critical. If you specify too short a time to achieve too big a goal, the result will be disappointment and you will lose motivation to move towards the change you want to see. Do not forget to celebrate each achievement along the way.

To protect your entire well-being, take time to focus on you and work towards getting the results you want. 

Shalom.

Until

Jo-Ann

Where will you be positioned post-Covid?

Hi

As the pandemic subsides and lockdown restrictions start to ease in many countries, even if potentially temporarily, as many attempt to navigate into ‘normal’ life, whatever that entails, there is an awareness that somethings have definitely changed or about to be changed. There is a lurking sense of a 'new normal'.

As I listened to recent discourses, I get the clear impression that those coming out of lockdown fall into three broad categories: 

Category One: the resistant or antagonists who have the most invested in their pre-Covid-19 way of living. These are the ones who mostly oppose change and would do everything possible to get back into their comfort zones. They are the 'I can't wait to get back to the good old days of doing the things I have been accustomed to'. For those in this category, the schools cannot open quickly enough so that their children can return, thereby releasing them from the demands of homeschooling, into a 'normal' routine. They will not accept the 'new normal' easily.

Category Two: the 'indifferents' who simply drift along, placing no-demands on themselves to embrace change. They will say 'It makes no difference to me because nothing has really changed in my life.Why must I risk discomfort by going after something that may turn out to be the same old, same old?' Those in this category will not easily risk possible rejection at that job interview..

Category Three: the 'new seekers' who strive to embrace change because they are dissatisfied with the way things have been pre-Covid-19. They have a need, which change offers them an opportunity to fulfil. This may be starting their own business or attracting a different customer target group. They are ready and motivated to find alternatives and adventure.

As you take a moment to reflect on your current status and the category you find yourself in, ask yourself why you are in that category. Would you prefer to be in a different category; if so, why? and what will you do to make the transformation?

Until

Jo-Ann Rowland

How to cope with what you can't control

Hi

I really hope the COVID-19 pandemic is not as severe in your area as it was when I wrote last month. Some places are beginning to come out of 'lockdown'. However, you may still be experiencing the unwanted, even unpleasant restrictions associated with the 'lockdown'. Whatever your current situation, my topic today may be one that you can easily relate to: how to cope effectively when the control rug has been pulled from under your feet.

During this Health Awareness Week, it is important to take care of your physical, emotional and mental health. Let's face it, there are many things in life that we cannot control. We cannot control how someone else thinks or reacts to a situation, or to us. However, we can control our reactions to all the things we cannot control.

Contextually, many relationships have been severely tested and put under great strain as a result of the global COVID-19 pandemic. When things we feel we should be able to control, such as the human right of freedom of movement and the right to meet with family and friends as we please, have been taken away from us, not only can our physical bodies be adversely affected, but we can experience mental and emotional distress. The situation may be made worse if we find ourselves in the same restricted space for longer periods with someone who is perpetrating abuse on us. How do we ensure we remain safe and sane?

The primary response is always ensure you are physically safe at all cost. Set boundaries as far as possible to maintain a safe distance from any form of danger. Becoming overwhelmed can lead to shallow breathing and even panic attacks. Manage your breathing by taking deep breaths. Take time out to think through what is happening around you and to you so you can logically and positively move forward. Whether it is a family member, friend, the Police, Domestic Violence helpline or a Counsellor, make a call to get the right support you need. Get help as soon as you need it. Do not suffer in silence.

Until

Jo-Ann Rowland

Social distancing

Hi. 

Trusting you are keeping safe by abiding by the rules posed by the government in your location. 

Since my last blog, I have to be very honest with you, lockdown has created various strong emotions in me. The good ones revolve around having quality family time, catching up on things around the house and doing some writing. However, my huge frustration is seeing so many people blatantly flouting the social distancing rules and even imposed curfews. 

Lockdown, to safeguard against the virus, needs to be taken seriously. One day last week I had to get some very essential items. The supermarket I went to was lapse in its dealing with social distancing. There was an attempt to hold people outside the shop doors until some persons finished their shopping and exited the shop. However, when I was allowed in I was shocked to see the number of people in the aisles. Concerning for me, on entry, I was almost pushed over (yes, physical contact was made!) by a male as he walked past. I quickly grabbed less items than intended and headed to the checkout. By the way, I had on my mask and gloves. While I waited at the checkout, people were navigating the aisles in close proximity to me. I had to say to shoppers a number of times 'I am sorry but you are in my space'. I left the shop with a clear lesson. Do not enter a store if you are unhappy with the size of the aisles in relation to the number of shoppers in it. Social distancing is critical if the fatalities from Coronavirus, COVID-19, is to be minimised. Let's enjoy the lockdown period and follow the safe social distancing rules. It will save lives.

Until

Jo-Ann Rowland

Anxious about COVID-19?

The last three months have been fraught with sad events stemming from the Corona Virus, COVID-19. I left England for an overseas trip just ahead of the current disruptions and restrictions. Many countries are only just entering the first phase of discovery and management of the virus.Where-ever you are, someone is probably affected by the impartial attack of COVID-19. As I write, I am saddened by the devastating global impact of the virus. To-date, according to WHO's Director-General, Dr Tedros Ghebreyesus, there are more than 500 000 COVID-19 confirmed cases and over 20 000 confirmed deaths. With such numbers, it will be difficult to quantify the total number of grieving family members and friends.However, in the face of this tragedy, globally more than 100 000 persons have recovered from COVID-19. 

Social media and other platforms are rife with ways that we can keep our bodies safe from the viral invasion, for example, by social distancing. Some people without the virus are self-isolating, and this includes from their family members. Schools, nurseries, churches, airports, organisations even countries are on lock down. It is a difficult time. No-one could have imagined such a catastrophe with global impact potentially greater than the two World Wars.

Thousands are struggling with anxiety and fear as their mental health is severely challenged. Fear driven by uncertainty and the overwhelming, abundance of information on the internet; fear of what is coming; fear of what could happen; fear of the isolation caused by social distancing; fear derived from living in close contact and for longer periods with an abusive spouse or child. Fear can cause loss of sleep which in turn compromises the immune system. Financial hardship is beginning to hit home. People need answers for their specific situations and when this support is not available, it becomes worrisome.

As we grapple with the current reality, it is essential that we take care of our mental health. Self-care is essential before other-care. If we neglect to take care of ourselves in this climate, we will eventually become dysfunctional. Talking things over is always good and seeking professional help must not be ignored.Organisations such as Samaritans in the UK,  counselling associations many of whom are recruiting volunteers to assist with the high numbers of callers, and many churches have provided virtual assistance. As help is sought, it is important at this time to only visit recognised information hubs to avoid misleading, fake news. Finally, as we protect ourselves, let us seek for those things which show kindness and bring peace. Shalom.

Until,
Jo-Ann Rowland